Stress and Your Window of Tolerance
By Carly Fleming, M.Ed.
Registered Psychotherapist
Every person has a different window of tolerance, with some having wide ranges and others having more narrow ranges of tolerance.
“Window of tolerance” refers to a zone of 'arousal' or stimulation in which people are able to function and thrive in everyday life. The term was coined by Dr. Dan Siegel. In this blog post we’d like to use this concept to help you develop some awareness of the cues that your body and mind may be sending you when you are outside of your window of tolerance.
How do I know when I am within my window of tolerance?
Your window of tolerance isn’t only when you feel calm, peaceful and happy (although it most definitely includes these states). It is also when you feel energized by stress, or excited and even nervous about a new situation. In this state you are able to receive and process the information in the world around you and problem-solve when necessary. Most people can recognize their window of tolerance when they think back to a period of time or a scenario of interest. They can simply sense that they felt in control and able to manage, even if they were experiencing stress.
How do I know when I am outside my window of tolerance?
When you are outside your window of tolerance you are more likely to experience anxiety, panic, racing thoughts and physical symptoms of stress. These are all examples of hyper-arousal. You are also more likely to feel shut down, emotionally numb, and physically exhausted. These are examples of hypo-arousal. In these states, it is difficult to problem-solve, process information and relate to others effectively. Many people don’t recognize when they are operating outside their window of tolerance and therefore are not able to put tools into place to move themselves back inside the window. Some people move temporarily outside their window of tolerance when experiencing a major stressor and this can be quite normal. Once the stressor is resolved, they move back inside the window. However, it can be particularly problematic when people spend a majority of their time operating outside their window. In these cases it becomes difficult for the person to effectively navigate relationships, problems and self-care.
How do I help myself stay in (or get back into) my window of tolerance?
It is very possible to actively improve your ability to return to your window of tolerance as well as widen the window all together, improving your ability to cope with stress. It is most helpful to work towards awareness of which state you are in. If you can identify quickly that you have moved outside your window, it is much easier to steer yourself back in than spend hours or days in that uncomfortable place. Here are 3 tools you can begin to practice:
Present-moment awareness
Begin by practicing being more present in your everyday life. You can start by reminding yourself to notice your senses. What do you hear? Taste? Feel? Smell? If you do this a few times each day, you will naturally build up your ability to notice changes as they occur in the present moment. There are many ways to increase your present moment awareness. Click here for further ideas.
Body awareness
Many of us go through our days not really paying attention to our bodies and the cues it is trying to send us. By becoming more connected to your body, you will easily notice the changes that happen when you move outside your window of tolerance. And then you can put some strategies in place to get your body back within the window (e.g. breathing exercises).
Becoming aware of emotional triggers.
Often when we experience stress which takes us out of our window of tolerance we aren’t simply reacting to the stress of that moment. We can find ourselves experiencing emotional triggers from events or sensations that happened in the past. When you notice that you are getting reactive and moving outside your window, it can be helpful to stop and ask yourself what is going on under the surface. If you take some time to connect with your emotions you may find that you are actually reacting from something very different than what you are currently experiencing. If you find that you have many emotional triggers or ones that feel like you can’t manage on your own, therapy can help.
Looking for some support?
If stress is starting to make it hard to enjoy your life and you’d like some help unpacking what’s going on, we want to help. We offer counselling and psychotherapy at various price points to try to make therapy as accessible to as many people as possible. Learn more about Affordable Therapy here.
When you’re ready, we can help.
Book a free 30 minute consultation and let’s talk about it.